The other evening, I was offered a tequila whilst visiting friends and it reminded me of the first time I drank it; I was driving a Ford Capri round the North Circular at 9.30 on a Saturday morning. It was the late Seventies and Stuart and I had been given tickets for a superstars concert at Wembley Stadium. There was no slamming or lemon and salt, we just swigged it to smooth out the sulphate we had snorted earlier.

It was Steves car, virtually new, and bought with the insurance money from the accident. His last car was an old Hillman Imp which he drove through an antique shop window after hitting a hump-back bridge at the wrong speed. My brother was in the seat next to him having his nose torn off by the windscreen wiper as the engine was pushed into Steves lap causing multiple fractures of both legs. Chris remembers hearing the sound of splintering but assumed it was Chippendale.

It wasnt long before I relented and let Steve have his car back - after all, he wouldnít have been there if we didnt need a chauffeur.

 Having spent most of the day in the bar apart from a brief sojourn to guffaw at the  Beach Boys , we let Elton John launch into Bennie and the Jets and  then left.

Steve dropped us at Stuarts parents house in the early hours of Sunday morning; Stuart occupied the attic normally but Mr Pipe And Slippers had taken the sour-faced stepmother on holiday so we opened the deep freeze and the cocktail cabinet (no tequila)  and had a dinner party for two ( and the emergency gramme).

I opened my eyes to the  bright  heat-haze of an English summers day in a deck chair under a pear tree. I didnt realise how bright it was until I took off the sun-lamp goggles and my eyes followed the extension cable to where the sun-lamp was strapped to the tree trunk. I was in my underpants and a womans blue taffeta hat with a purple chiffon scarf. Opposite me was Stuart in a similar outfit; between our deckchairs lay a collection of bottles (no tequila) and glasses .A few yards away, on the backstep, I could see milk and newspapers from recent deliveries.

After dressing and clearing away the uneaten food we set off for the pub. On the way Stuart needed a crap and went into a small shed on a garden centre forecourt. At the pub we had a pint of Skol each and a tequila chaser. Then  we called it a day.